Tough Days and Tender Mercies

While Sophie was off track I had scheduled some appointments for her. She had been diagnosed with reflux in her right kidney last February. We talked then with the urologist about doing a procedure to fix it when she tracked off or in the summer time. And then everything happened and we just put it off. The Dr had given that as an option (not doing the procedure immediately, but seeing if there had been improvement) but Soph had so much anxiety about it that we had planned at the time, on just getting it done to prevent it from getting worse but it never happened. With her health concerning us so much lately we went ahead and scheduled follow up appointments for this week. I was just taking her, but as the day approached my anxiety over it got worse and worse. Her appointments were to be held at Primary Children's. We didn't even tell her until the night before so she wouldn't worry. I was amazed. She wasn't happy about it, but she was calm, went to bed and even got up on her own. (I on the other hand had been up since 4:00 am) We got to the hospital and she had to have the test done first (they catheterized her and then shot dye and saline through her urethra tubes to see if the urine goes back up into the bladder). Not fun. Yet again, I was amazed. She was calm, she talked to the techs, no hesitation and got it done. We then were supposed to go up and meet with the urologist and go over the results. The technician walked us out he took us the back way. My heart just stopped as I recognized where we were. We passed by this small waiting room where nine months ago, Shane and I sat, waiting, praying for a miracle. It was in the middle night and we were the only ones there. They had taken Harry in for an MRI to see if there was any sign of brain activity so we would know how to proceed. I couldn't even sit on the chair, my body was so exhausted. Shane offered a prayer and we were calmed as we waited. When the doctor came out, I knew by the look on his face that it was not good news. There was nothing there. At that point the kids and our families had been waiting for answers. I will never forget those moments. The look of disbelief on Mady's face. I could hardly look Davin in the eye and I just held Sophie as the reality of the night sunk in for everyone. So here we are, all this time later, walking past this space. It would have just crushed me if I hadn't had Sophie to think about. We waited for a bit and went to our appointment. The urologists office was located right at the end of the ICU hallway. It's a big hospital. We had to be in those two exact spots? But again, my brave, sweet child was kept unaware of the turmoil I was going through. And miracle of miracles, her reflux had completely improved, no signs of it, no immediate concerns, no procedure. She was so relieved. So was I. Grateful for a little good news to come out of a visit there. So we raced out to the District to celebrate and caught a showing of our new favorite movie, Les Miserables. I know, not hugely appropriate for 9 year old girls, but she closed her eyes on all the questionable parts and enjoyed the rest. She has the whole thing memorized. What a girl, what an amazing, brave girl.